Talking to children about bereavement and loss
Breaking the news about a death to a child is never easy, but it’s important they feel supported by you in the process.
Here are some tips to help:
for further information
- Try to be as honest and open as possible about what has happened
- Use age-appropriate language so it’s easier for them to understand
- Use concrete words – for example, say ‘died’ or ‘death’
- Listen to them – it’s OK not to have all the answers right now
- Answer the questions you can in a calm and consistent manner
- Be patient – they may need to hear the answers several times to process it
- Use storybooks, toys and play to help explain what has happened
- Let them know that they can talk to you at any time.
You may find the 📷clips below helpful:
How do we move forward?
How children understand and express loss will depend on their age, developmental stage, experiences and connection with what they’ve lost.
Strong feelings can be overwhelming for children. Some might get quiet and withdrawn, while others might express their feelings through challenging behaviours.
Sometimes your own grief will make it difficult for you to support your child. It can be helpful to make time to look after your own wellbeing and seek support when you need it.
Adult supports for loss, change and bereavement
Helpful links for adults
🔗NHS Grief Self Help Guide– This guide uses cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques to help cope with the experience of grief. There are also tips taken from other kinds of therapy. You might recognise some of these techniques and some of them will likely be new to you.
🔗Mind Self-Care – Coping with the loss of a loved one is always difficult, especially when it is not expected. It can take time to understand your feelings and adjust after the loss has happened, but there are things you can do to help yourself.
Helplines
🔗Petal Support (Support around homicide or suicide).
Call 01698 324502 during office hours
🔗Child Bereavement UK – (Support if you have lost a child, and for children)
The Helpline – Monday – Friday, 9am – 5pm (except Bank Holidays).
Helpline: 0800 02 888 40
Chat via website and email support@childbereavementuk.org
Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland –
Tel: 08088026161
Email: support@crusescotland.org.uk
