Self-harm
Self-harm is when a person deliberately hurts and/or damages their body as a way of dealing with very difficult feelings, painful memories or overwhelming situations and experiences. It is an expression of emotional distress, a way to communicate feelings and relieving tension.
If you’re concerned about your child’s immediate safety, take them to A&E.
Helpful questions to explore self-harm (ask gently, not all at once):
- When did it start? How often does it happen? What methods are you using?
- How do you care for any wounds?
- What usually leads you to harm yourself?
- When was the last time?
- Did you mean to end your life? (important to assess suicidal thoughts)
A basic wound-care kit may include gauze, alcohol-free wipes, closure strips, dressings, tape, and a bandage.
Signs to look out for can include…
- Outbursts of anger, or risky behavior like drinking or taking drugs
- Covering up, for example by wearing long sleeves a lot of the time, especially in summer
- Unexplained bruises, cuts, burns or bite-marks on their body
- Blood stains on clothing, or finding tissues with blood in their room
- Becoming withdrawn and spending a lot of time alone in their room
- Avoiding friends and family and being at home
- Feeling down, low self-esteem or blaming themselves for things
Talking to your child about self-harm behaviours like cutting can be very challenging. We suggest starting with a calm, compassionate conversation. Express your concern without judgment and ask open-ended questions to understand their feelings. You might say, “I’m worried about you and noticed these marks. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
Acknowledge that self-harm is a way to cope with distress and gently discuss healthier alternatives Microsoft Word – Coping mechanisms for self harm-client’s.docx. Involving a mental health professional is crucial, you can make a referral here to the school counselling service | Exchange Counselling or speak to your GP.
If you’re concerned about their immediate safety, take your child to A&E.
Learn more here
Helplines: For ongoing support you could use one of these resources available 24/7:
- Self Injury support 08088008088 text 07537432444
- Calm 0800 585 858
📷Clips:
- Self-Harm Video Resources | The Chelsea Psychology Clinic
- How to support someone who is self-harming – Samaritans
- 3 Myths About Self-Harm
🔗Websites:
Self-harm | Advice for young people | Get help | Young Minds
NSPCC – Understanding child self-harm
Leaflet
Parental Guide Supporting-Your-Child-A5-Booklet-English-2023